The worst feeling..
Last night I had a mere anxiety attack. Okay so this blog may seem a little over the edge, like.. I don’t ever blog about it but I just wanted to let what was consuming my mind out, for an eager attempt to forget all about it. I was thinking about life, and death. Idk, somehow my thoughts led to all these questions. What if I die? Like, how will I feel? Am I just really supposed to stop breathing and then disappear off the face of the planet? Of the whole wide galaxies out there?And then that one tiny question scared me. I found myself thinking so much about how I never wanted to die. How I would miss having a life to live. I wish I never questioned my beliefs, but unfortunately it had to come to that. I was thinking about how it would feel to be dead.. what if we just go away like we never existed? That would suck. And then slowly I started to feel uneasy. I panicked, a little. Yeah, I know.. who does that?! But I did. It’s hard accepting the fact that we have only one life to live.. and that we have no reassurance that tomorrow is always to come. You know what I did to help me ease myself mentally, emotionally, and physically? I prayed. I prayed for God to help me clear my mind off of things that hasn’t happened yet. And when I felt a little better, I turned here to blog. To let it all out, and then just forget about it. I feel guilty for doubting what might happen when the time comes for us to depart from this place.. I have strong faith in my beliefs, and I won’t ever let myself lose to my worries again. Let me tell you this though, that was like probably the worst feeling I’ve had since a heartbreak from years ago. From now on, I’ma just live my life slowly, embracing every minute I have of it and cherishing any moment that follows it instead over over-analyzing every detail of life. I’m thankful to be alive, and that’s all I should worry so much about for now.
